You Belong Here

The paint and water blend, strokes pushing, mixing it, pulling the colors.  Fading.  Deep bold lines, defiantly refusing to allow the water to change it.  Slowly the flower is born and takes shape.  Like broken pieces; healing, flowing together.

I sketched the words "You Belong Here".  Bold, yet with a hint of playfulness.  Imperfect.  The letters mismatched.

I thought I made it for them.  To remind each other that we belong together.  That we will fight for each other, that God had a reason for knitting our family together.  Loss.  Heartache.  Waiting.  Heartache.  Trauma.  We all have journeyed to each other.  Our paths bump and curve as we do life together.  Some days we do life around each other.  Other days the mess of being from hard places or of just growing up permeates and the noise overwhelms.  Do we still belong when we show the parts that are not pretty?  In the anger and defensiveness, the parts that challenge if we will stay through the anger, the lies, the defiance and yelling, we still belong.  Other days the journey together is enjoyable, like the sun flooding through the windows, laughter and calmness fill the space.  You belong here..  This home was built for us.

And to the one who complies, who tries to make peace, to cover over the chaos or escape from it.  You belong here too.  You might feel like you go unnoticed, your needs to connect put aside for the ones trying to interrupt and override.  To the one who slips silently to your room to find refuge in your books, in drawing, in connecting online with friends- you belong here too.

So many different personalities and needs, different levels of emotional maturity, and different ways to announce them.  Yet each of you have a place.  While we cannot force anyone to mature, so we try to help you grow where you are, to encourage your roots to push deeper, strengthening you and readying you for the coming growth.

Or maybe it was created for my heart.  To remind me that I belong here, right where I am.  That I am called to this place for a reason.  Some days it is overwhelming.  Parenting is hard.  Life gets messy.  Noisy.  Exhausting.  It's more than the new community we have moved into, wondering how we will fit in, the way our old neighborhood feels farther than the mere 8 minutes away that it is.  My heart longs for the known, the familiar paths, the neighbors we can borrow an egg or cocoa from, the trust in knowing and being known and accepted by neighbors.  I am thankful for the new friendships, the visits and laughter shared over coffee, the walk in the fresh snow, and have been brought a meal by a new neighbor in a difficult time.  My heart is heavy as we deal with those who say we don't belong- with words that scar, with anger against the very skin my children are clothed in, where fear can take root from anger and injustice.  And then the phone rings, and I am invited in, to join a new village of women who affirm, who stand alongside us, who speak against the lies and share that they too are experiencing injustice, and then embrace and accept who we are.  Everything in me longs to hear those words that I belong, that we belong here.  And as I open myself and begin to connect, I am seeing that we do belong here.

You belong here.  May you read these words and know that our home is a place of refuge.  It may not be silent, but amidst the chaos of life, I hope you can come and find peace here.  There is a place for you to sit, to drink tea or coffee, to be still and rest in the sunlight.  Or to laugh and gather around the table, to engage in board games that challenge and build relationships.  Whatever battles you fight, come and sit in awe at the beauty of the sunset, knowing that our God who created all creation has painted the sky for you.  Know that He loves you.  He doesn't call you to be perfect and have your life together.  Come, find a safe place here.

And may the presence of the Holy Spirit flood this place.  You belong here, we welcome you here Holy Spirit.   Come like a rushing wind.  Settle in the bold colors of glory and joy.  Cover each person who enters these doors and let them know they belong.  Let love cover over wounds and bring healing.  May praises rise, giving glory to you.  Remind us that we matter, we are enough and we belong because of you.

So to those who are lost and hurting, scared, lonely, scarred, those who feel overwhelmed or not enough, and to the misfits and rebels, know that you can come.  You can sit at our table and relax on our couches.  Join in with the unexpected that our family brings, the differences, the common goal of love and acceptance, the longing to be known, the desire to follow Christ, the healing and growing and the place of knowing that you belong here.

Another IP Meal

Southwest Brown Rice and Lentil Instant Pot Stew

 

Ingredients

• 1 onion finely chopped
• 1 red bell pepper finely chopped
• 1 yellow pepper finely chopped
• 5-8 garlic cloves minced
• 1 1/2 cup brown rice
• 1 1/2 cup brown lentils
• 5 cups vegetable broth
• 1 can crushed tomatoes 28 oz.
• 1 can diced green chilies 4 oz (I used hot peppers I had canned).
• 4 Tbsp taco seasoning
• 4 tsp dried oregano
• 2 tsp sea salt
• 1 tsp Black pepper
• 2 cups shredded cheese I prefer mozzarella and sharp cheddar
•  chopped fresh cilantro, sour cream and hot sauce for topping

Instructions

1. Add all ingredients, except cheese and cilantro, to your Instant Pot. Set to manual and cook on high pressure for 15 minutes. Allow pressure to naturally release for 15 minutes then release remaining pressure. 
2. Serve in bowls
3. Sprinkle with cilantro and cheese and enjoy!  Feel free to add sour cream and/or hot sauce to taste
   
   

Gluten free Instant Pot Apple Crisp

I got an instant pot for Christmas, and have had an odd fear of not knowing what to do with the pot so it sat in it’s box until yesterday.  I love to cook by adapting to recopies, not measuring and going by texture or smell.  I wasn’t sure if the instant pot was going to be picky and blow up or not cook properly if I don’t follow certain rules...  However, I breathed in deeply and took it out from the box.  I did the initial water test (and will admit I hid in my living room, peeking around the corner afraid it might blow up) and than, after much Pinterest searching, decided to use up some unhappy apples in a delicious gluten free instant pot apple crisp.

Gluten Free Instant Pot Apple Crisp

(Adapted from http://www.lifemadefull.com/recipe/gluten-free-instant-pot-apple-crisp/)

Ingredients 6 apples, sliced thinly (I used gala) 2 tsp cinnamon ¾  cup water ½  cup melted butter (or gee) ¼ cup melted coconut oil 2 cups gluten free rolled oats 1 ¼  cup 1:1 gluten free flour ½- ¾  cup brown sugar

Instructions

1. Put the sliced apple pieces in the bottom of the instant pot.  Add cinnamon and water, then stir to combine.
2. Stir together the remaining ingredients and spread on top of mixture..  I pressed it so it wasn’t too crumbly once cooked.
3. Secure the lid on the instant pot. Use the manual setting, and cook on high pressure for 8 minutes.
4. Let pressure naturally release for 10 minutes, then turn the valve to vent. Let release the rest of the air, and then you can remove the lid, let cool for a few minutes, and eat!

Thoughts about the recipe:

-It looked a bit wet when I first opened the intant pot, but that seemed to absorb in as it sat. 

-We scooped the crisp and turned it upside down on our dish to let the caramelized apples cover it with sticky goodness.

-I’ll add cranberries, saskatoons or blueberries to the apples next time.

-I think I’ll try a bit of maple syrup next time in place of some or all of the sugar. 

A moment to Breathe, day 9.

"For by one offering he has perfected forever those who are sanctified." ~Hebrews 10:14

In today's reading by Sarah Mae I was reminded that Jesus isn't waiting for me to have everything figured out and together.  He isn't waiting for me to say the right words or do something to earn my worth.  He's waiting for me to look to him Him and trust him.  It is in my deepest weakness and messes that I can grow and mature when I rely on Jesus strength. 

And right now, in the mess, He calls me loved, comforted, healed and victorious.  The Holy Spirit is at work in and through me.  I am not looking back at who I was or thought I was.  My failures, mistakes and the lies I believed don't hold me back.  Through the redeeming blood of Jesus I have been sanctified.  I am washed clean.  I am free.  And so I breathe it in.  My eyes are on Jesus and I never want to look away from the love in His gaze.

Day 5 of "A Moment To Breathe" made me pause. Our upcoming move to a new community has brought many emotions to the surface. Today a fear of mine was revealed and Jesus' truth was able to replace it. Our family is noisy and busy. In turn, my ducks aren't in a row and I feel I appear less than put together. Our community has have been part of our lives for 18 years. They've celebrated births and homecomings of our children. They've heard our kids laugh, tantrum, talk and yell. They've seen us parent through many situations, and yes, witnessed our less then wonderful reactions to our children as we parent... But it's safe here in the known, in the place where we are known and loved. And now we are leaving this to go to a place where we aren't known, where we don't know how our family will fit and where nobody knows about our everyday mess. I sat here thinking about this quite a while. I know we are being called to our next home to love our neighbors, to bless others in our home and to raise our family in a larger space and so I am choosing to put aside how I want others to see us. My identity and worth is not based on how well behaved (or noisy and wild) my kids are. It's not based on how watered and weeded my flowers are. It's not based on having my home decorated just right. I am a forgiven child of my heavenly father's. I am loved, chosen and victorious. I am also a work in progress, being shaped by my creator. I am called to love others to love Jesus. And, although my life isn't tidy and controlled, it is going to be lived by meeting and freely loving our new community. "For am I now trying to persuade people or God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ"-Galatians 1:10 #amomenttobreathe #documentlifesmoments #thesonisalwaysshining

Live Alive

I'm ready to live fully. The reheated coffee (that I'd originally made so carefully by roasting my own beans to the perfect darkness and then made in a clay jabana the traditional way that the Ethiopian founders of coffee make it) boiled over in the microwave. My throats burns and my sinuses throb but I know there is more to this day.  I eased my weary aching body into the hot-tub. And my sanctuary didn't fail me. I breathed in deeply, slowly and held my breath, my lungs open and full before releasing it and all that I was carrying. The demands of life, committees wanting members, the weariness from our cleaning-purging-fixing-buying-selling that has happened, the seasonal urge to can and forge for winter food for my family and the ever present question of what's for supper slips away. There is just me, sitting in the sunshine in my place, in peace. But yet there is more than just me- I allow myself to go deeper, to the things that matter and that are to many unknown and unseen. My thoughts turn to my Heavenly Father and the sunshine turns into a warm embrace from Him.  And I was swept away, to a place where I am whole, I am healed and I dance in praise and worship. I am left in awe of my God and His powerful love. Tears wash away the stress and the mess I make on my own.  And what I feel is more than having a silent house. It's more than the freedom of not having preschoolers to care for. It's more than anything this world offers. My heart is open and my hands release what they tightly held. His glory settled on me, making me come alive. The bigness of my life made minute compared to the wonder of Him.  I praise the One who loves me and created me. And I breath in, fully alive.

"I pray that he will use his glorious riches to make you strong. May his Holy Spirit give you his power deep down inside you. Then Christ will live in your hearts because you believe in him. And I pray that your love will have deep roots. I pray that it will have a strong foundation. May you have power together with all the Lord’s holy people to understand Christ’s love. May you know how wide and long and high and deep it is. And may you know his love, even though it can’t be known completely. Then you will be filled with everything God has for you." ~Ephesians 3:16-19

Forgiveness

 "If you don't FORGIVE sins, what will you do with them?" -John 20:23.

 
Forgiveness. There are certain things and people that are easier to forgive, but the one who hurts us deeply or intentionally... Maybe it's not a struggle for you, but for me it's a daily battle to not hold onto other people's words or insults. It gets pretty heavy and messy when we hold onto what others have done or said to us. When we don't forgive, we can grow bitter, depression can set in, anxieties and grudges grow.  We are called to forgive everyone. And, when we do forgive and let go there is freedom. Healing doesn't happen in the mess of what is not forgiven. The verse before this says "Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive someone's sins, they are gone for good". And although forgiveness is often a journey for us to work through, the moment we do forgive, the sin is gone. It's not there. It doesn't define us.  And like the song below declares,

"You met me at the sinners table
I found You waiting by the well, unexpected
You are always there
Tracing all my steps"

And that is beautiful. It's not the work of you or me but is because of the redemption found in the cross.

Light up the way of Your heart
Move me like You do the mountains
Move me like You do the wind
And I'll chase Your voice through the dark
Fix my eyes on the unexpected
In the wonder of Your shadow step
So take another step

 

You met me at the sinners table
I found You waiting by the well, unexpected
You are always there
Tracing all my steps

 

Light up the way of Your heart
Move me like You do the mountains
Move me like You do the wind
And I'll chase Your voice through the dark
Fix my eyes on the unexpected
In the wonder of Your shadow step
So take another step

 

You never left the lost forsaken
Your mercy paves the road ahead, unexpected
You are always good
You are always good

 

Light up the way of Your heart
Move me like You do the mountains
Move me like You do the wind
And I'll chase Your voice through the dark
Fix my eyes on the unexpected
In the wonder of Your shadow step
And I won't be afraid
In every way, You never fail
So have Your way, here God
And I'll sing Your praise
Fix my heart to Yours
Ready for the unexpected
Ready for what You will do next

 

I can't explain Your heart
Or dare to trace-out all You are
But when I think about the road You took for love
I know Your grace will stay the path

 

Light up the way of Your heart
Move me like You do the mountains
Move me like You do the wind
And I'll chase Your voice through the dark
Fix my eyes on the unexpected
In the wonder of Your shadow step
And I won't be afraid
In every way, You never fail
So have Your way, here God
And I'll sing Your praise
Fix my heart to Yours
 

Ready for the unexpected
 

Ready for what You will do next

 

So take another step

 

Songwriters: Joel Houston / Michael Guy Chislett

Shadow Step lyrics © Capitol Christian Music Group

Artist: Hillsong United

Album: Wonder